Fear of relationships

Fear of Rejection in Relationships

“‘Cause you’ve been bitten once and now you’re twice as shy” sang Welsh singer Marina & the Diamonds in her song “I’m Ruin”. Often when we got rejected, we find it extremely hard to start it all over again, simply because we are afraid to get rejected again. Thinking about all the efforts we made to attract a prospective partner and then everything came crashing down, makes no surprise that we don’t want to experience it again.

New Relationship Fears

If you have been in a relationship for quite long and it ended up into a painful breakup, you feel extremely frustrated when it comes to starting to date again. Basically, it works the same way as the fear of rejection but now you fear not the rejection but the possibility of building a relationship in vain. You have already experienced what it is like when long-term relationship is ending. When you start a new relationship after a painful breakup, you start counting years till it ends. Of course, it’s not the best attitude to start with.

Fear of Losing Independence

The most common fear of being in a relationship is the fear of losing independence. You are afraid that you won’t have your alone time when you start a relationship. As a result, you neglect the very possibility of getting into a relationship.

Fear of Changes

You know that your life is going to change when you start will start a relationship. On the one hand, you are not going to be alone anymore. On the other hand, however, your life is going to face a lot of changes. Your time that you spend with your friends and family is going to get limited. You will have less alone time. You are most likely to plan your days off together. If you are not ready for the changes, you are most likely not ready for a relationship.

Fear of Success

There is a high possibility that you are afraid to succeed in relationships. You got used to the fact of being dumped and to the possibility of pitying yourself. If that is more valuable for you then, definitely, you are not ready for commitment.

How to Get Over Fear of Relationships

You already know the reasons for why you are afraid of relationships, and that is the first important step into getting over the fear. When it comes to fear of rejection or fear of breakup, you should keep in mind that the lightning never strikes twice in one place. But when it comes to fear of losing independence and fear of changes, you, probably, should wait until the time that you are ready for a relationship. If you have a fear of success, you probably need a shrink to help you.